Notts teenager teams up with NottAlone to talk sibling loss, grief and mental health

In the spotlight for the first episode, which is released on Wednesday 11 February, is fifteen-year-old Ella Mai Blower from Colwick who shares her moving experience of coping with grief following the loss of her younger brother. 

Leo was six years old when he passed away from a terminal brain tumour four years ago, leaving Ella and her family devastated. 

As many young people do, Ella turned to social media to find other people who had also lost siblings, but was unable to find anything that resonated with her. That’s when she decided to create her own TikTok account @girl_vs_grief, to share her memories and help other people going through grief and loss. 

Ella said: 

“The world goes quiet when you lose someone that close. It felt like time was paused, I felt numb. I just missed everything about him. Then the things that I felt were the biggest problems as an eleven-year-old weren’t anymore. Nothing mattered. The only thing that mattered was Leo.” 

Ella had therapy after the loss and encourages anyone going through something difficult to reach out for support: 

“If you do therapy, you have someone to talk to, someone who’s there to listen to you. Especially if you don’t want to talk to your family and friends about something, you can talk to your therapist, because they’re not going to judge you. I really recommend it for anyone struggling.” 

Reflecting on the loss during the podcast episode, Ella talks about the things that helped her: 

“It is important to find your own thing that helps you. It is important for your mental health. For example, I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have drama. It has driven me and made me, me. Finding your own ‘thing’ helps so much when you’re feeling low, because you can think ‘right, everything’s falling apart, but I’ve got drama’ or whatever your own thing is. And then you realise not everything’s bad because you’ve got that good thing in your life. 

“It does feel so unfair. But you can either sit there thinking that it’s unfair, or you can do something and learn how to make it feel less painful. Therapy helped. Talking to my family really helped, they’ve lost Leo too and they know what it’s like. We do things to remember him, and we have a bench for him that I go and sit on sometimes. 

“I’ve got so many amazing memories of him; so I’ve still got Leo.” 

Ella also speaks about what people can do to support loved ones going through loss: 

“The main thing I needed was a friend. It was very hard to feel understood, but what made a difference was my friends who contacted me, sent a little text, just to say, ‘I’m here’ or ‘I’m thinking of you, I really hope you’re okay’. You don’t have to do anything, you just have to be there. It’s a massive thing.” 

Co-hosts of The NottAlone Podcast, Dr Órlaith Green and Dr Maddi Popoola are eager for people to listen to the new series. 

Dr Maddi, NottAlone co-founder and Educational Psychologist at Nottingham City Council, said: 

“I’m absolutely in awe of the young people we’ve had on the podcast for the new series. Their stories are so different but the one thing that carries through each episode is how articulate, courageous and open each of these young people has been when talking about their individual struggles.” 

Dr Órlaith, NottAlone co-founder and Principal Educational Psychologist and Group Manager, Psychology and Inclusion Services at Nottinghamshire County Council, said: 

“These young people are so inspiring. They’re able to come and talk to us about real issues and pain that they’ve been through in a really emotionally mature way. We were just blown away by them and are so grateful they agreed to open up and be vulnerable with us. I think our listeners will agree that these are some of our most powerful episodes yet.” 

Listen to Ella’s episode of The NottAlone Podcast on Wednesday 11 February, the first episode in a new four-episode podcast series which explores some challenging topics, hearing young people’s first-hand experiences of grief, loss, eating disorder recovery and overcoming anxiety and panic attacks. 

Listen and subscribe to The NottAlone Podcast for free wherever you get your podcasts. 

For mental health advice and links to local support services in Nottingham and Nottinghamshire, visit www.NottAlone.org.uk.

NottAlone is a partnership between Nottinghamshire County Council, Nottingham City Council and the NHS Nottingham and Nottinghamshire Integrated Care Board.